I Really Need a Life... But What's the Point?

foreveralone-lyguy:

When you realize that someone is only being nice to you because they want something

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sassyvalkyrie:

interstellarmage:

i knew this guy in middle school who when asked about his future plans, even by school counselors or teachers would without fail always chant,

KICK ASS, GO TO SPACE
REPRESENT THE HUMAN RACE

i wonder what he’s up to these days.

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roselastrider:

i spilled water on my computer mouse earlier and now it’s freaking out and highlighting everything and dragging everything around and it would not let me put down that picture of richard nixon i had a fucking ghost richard nixon smiling at me for 5 minutes as i frantically shook my mouse around trying to make it stop its still doing this please leave me alone richard nixon

roselastrider:

i spilled water on my computer mouse earlier and now it’s freaking out and highlighting everything and dragging everything around and it would not let me put down that picture of richard nixon i had a fucking ghost richard nixon smiling at me for 5 minutes as i frantically shook my mouse around trying to make it stop its still doing this please leave me alone richard nixon

wisteriafield:

i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass

wisteriafield:

i’ll kick anyone’s ass. i’ll kick your ass. i’ll kick your dog’s ass. i’ll kick my own ass

iamnotdoingshittoday:

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?

iamnotdoingshittoday:

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?

murder-myself:

the most emotional post on tumblr

jimdoesntcarrey:

jimdoesntcarrey:

i have a speech in Art tomorrow on Surrealism and this is all i have so far

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update: the class groaned collectively 

leonkumquat:

when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

deathbymorning:

eggsnogging:

in my senior drama class i had to play gordon ramsay for a film project but we could only film in school so we had to try to find a closed off room to use. the thing is the room wasn’t exactly soundproof and apparently someone heard us and that’s the story of how the vice principal and four freshmen walked in on me wearing a chef’s hat and yelling at my friend because her squid was so raw i could still hear it telling spongebob to fuck off

did you get an A

princepoffin:

tadpole-in-a-tuxedo:

DEAR SWEET GOD

I WAS TRYING TO EDIT THIS GIF:

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AND THIS MONSTROSITY HAPPENED

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GOD ON HIGH HEAR MY PRAYER

this belongs in the beginning of the second deathnote opening

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